Thinking about my dad as I look forward to June 17, 2018 – Father’s Day – I contemplate my own father and the men in my life who were father figures. This past week I spent a few days in my home town of Marlow, OK. Walking down memory lane with the intentionality to explore my roots, upbringing and engage in adult conversation about my childhood, I found myself with Leroy Loveless.
Today we celebrate Reat, even as he celebrates in Heaven. Reat turns 19 today. I woke this morning exhausted from all the tears yesterday. So much crying gave me a headache and a very tired feeling this morning…as if, Reat is saying, “take a rest, Mom, I am okay.” I seem to always feel him saying, “I am okay”…mostly when I am a mess of tears and pain.
My heart is heavy today as I remember the unconditional love I lost from two people on April 13, 2014. How do you replace that? Can you rightly count on other family members to fill it, completely? Is it fair to ask friends to fill the void? The vast void that debilitates me is the same void that pushes me to help others.
There is so much to say about the last few months and this upcoming month but please indulge me as I take a moment to celebrate our son, Lukas.